Sweet Christmas has come, and sweet Christmas has gone. We are now in the final days of 2018 – the time when we reflect on all the happenings during the year or the lack of it.
So, how was the year for you? going by your own personal experiences, would you rate 2018 a good year or a not so good year or an outright bad year for you? are you experiencing several different thoughts and emotions as you think about this? I will say it again. Life happens.
So, take it easy on yourself. Like me, try not to revisit the not so good moments wherever you kept them. In your heads or in your hearts perhaps.
Okay. So, while I am still practicing to treasure and ponder on the good times in this year, it feels right to me to at this point talk about what held me back from re-starting this my blog earlier than when I did.
I call it bittersweet. And this is because - it turns out the one thing that held me back the most was yet the very same thing that inspired me more this year. Prompting me to work out for myself most of the other best moments that I had during the year. If you recall. I mentioned in my previous post (it feels good to be back) that I will talk some more in another post about the delays I experienced/encountered.
But first. Something happened to me three weeks ago. Something I want to share:
As we were talking about the good times in this year; one of my long long-time former colleague and me, I made a mental note that one of the highlights of this year for me was starting my blog again. Like starting to write on my blog again.
So normally, I was very excited to share this with her. Except, I could not; because my long-time colleague literally hijacked our conversation from start to end. You know their type. Don’t you?
Anyways, I will not dwell on what took place that day or how I felt that day. I would rather go to the point I am trying to make for the purpose of this post. Which is that, I‘d now come to a better realisation. Not by prayers. But, because I asked myself very deep and profound questions about this year for me. Re-starting the very same blog which I had recklessly abandoned for about 2 years is just news. I was always still very keen about writing, after all! The wonderful news however is that, I was able to shatter the wall that stood between me and my come back on my blog.
Okay so now, it seems like you are asking me this (again?). “What stood in your way Gladys?”.
My answer is simple. One action word:
Are you familiar with it? Hmm...
But how exactly did this work for me? If you ask me, I will give you a quick summary. First of all, I inflicted it on myself. Then I let it grind me to a complete halt. I compounded my own resulting difficulties when I by myself tasked myself with the never ending thoughts of ‘nothing is possible’, following which I enabled myself to build a tent and camp here conveniently, not able to move forward, whatsoever. It was that bad!.
However, through my experiencing this ordeal, something good happened to me. I found for myself some hidden depths, surprisingly. (remember: I said at the beginning of this post that the one thing that held me back the most was yet the very same thing that inspired me more this year.) These hidden depths sustained me during those times in the year when I had difficulty understanding life’s situation around me. Even though, not necessarily new, I regained some fresh perspectives, what I needed for me. And here they are –
So I found that:
I can self-start
Relearning is possible even after many years of not practicing
I can indulge in my many interests
I will not have EVERYBODY’s approval
My pace is MY PACE and I can maintain my own pace, I don’t have to sink into guilt or frustration
I can do things imperfectly, and it is okay
I can be flexible without loosing myself
I can focus on the expected desired result but still enjoy the process
I don’t have to know EVERYTHING
I have enough resources to start with already
Patience is good thing
Versatility is not a bad thing
Doing my own thing is not bad idea
As I try to end this here, you reading this post might find something in this post inspiring, who knows?
But as for me, the prospect of a new year is already making me excited. Another 12 whole new months!
Which means that I can assume you have aspirations, endeavours, dreams which probably you have abandoned and are longing to revive, to actualize and want to get started again. Or are you about to start something new?
It’s all good! I tell you.
So, my new year’s wish is that I wish for you to shatter the walls of delays in 2019.
Happy New year (in advance), dear readers 😊
Let’s meet here again,
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